who knows?

i fucking did not lie
when i say i wanted out
neither did i
try to hide any doubt
that was the time
i let my emotions get their way
that was the time
i let myself down, i allowed

and i know myself
i can be really a wreck
in a span of a few seconds
it switches between good and bad
so in times like this
i learn to keep my mouth shut
i just get myself pissed
and then i'm done being sad

you are just about to see the world
and i tell myself it's fine
everything happens for a reason
it's just about the time
we are both in different junctions
different directions in our lives
it's either make or break it
it's just along that line

at the end of the day
i'm still here, remained
i guess i'll just wait
until i become really drained.
For who is to say
how would be the end
For all we may know
It just began.

Another random ranting.

it's time to be selfish
though you try to act you're not
life's all about acting
have you given that a thought?
you put on a different mask
every other different day
you hide your true feelings
so hard for it you fought

it's time you start thinking
for yourself already
once you start a relationship
it's all about the other party
you can say whatever you want
and people may not understand
but once feelings are involved
you can no longer pretend

you try to tell yourself
everything will be okay
but who would actually know
what happens at the end of the day?
you put yourself out there
hoping for the best
who else is left
to really show you the way

you face your own emotions
you allow it to flow
when things do not happen
who can you scold?
and when things do turn out
the way you hope it would
that's when people shut up
and turn all cold.

The reasons i wept.

Everything that i have known, is slowly creeping back.
Show me the way, tell me exactly how i should react?

Feeling like i should have done this, made that.
Remind me again, all the various reasons that i have had?

Does it matter, the last time i fled?

Because it seems like it is coming back.

Just not yet.

Nice Saying #41

"Sometimes, it is all about some time."

As for the rest, it depends greatly on the mind.

Hypocritical.

And you said i was hypocritical...

seriously, have you looked in the mirror?
so chummy now, when a while ago you totally disliked her.
oh, your feelings towards her changed for the better?
oh, so your feelings can be this fickle?

then if that can apply to you,
it cannot apply to me too?

Hypocritical.

You go through it too.

It's just one of those emotions, at one of those times.

Why must it be construed as a forever existing feeling?

Isn't that just shallow thinking?

错的人

明知道爱情并不牢靠
但是我还是拼命往里跳
明知道再走可能是监牢
但是我还是相信只是煎熬

朋友都劝我不要不要
不要拿自己的幸福开玩笑
但是做人已经那么累
假惺惺的想要逃
在爱里连真心都不能给
这才真的真正的可笑

爱得太真 太容易 让自己牺牲
太容易让自己沉沦
太容易 不顾一切 满是伤痕
我太笨 明知道你是错的人
明知道这不是缘分
但是我还奋不顾身

爱得太真 太容易 让自己牺牲
太容易让自己沉沦
太容易 不顾一切 满是伤痕
我太笨 明知道你是错的人
明知道这不是缘分
但我相信有点可能

可能 在爱里面这样算笨
可能 永远没有所谓永恒
但是我 不愿放弃这里面一点点可能
宁愿笨也不想要悔恨

萧亚轩。

Nice Saying #40

"Reflect upon yourself ,before you speak of someone else.
May it be good or bad."

No single being is perfect.

all over again.

And as i gaze upon the innocent face,
yet another one of your many appearing ways...
I fall,
all over again.

And as i take your heart in my hands,
hid it at the sacred place...
I have chosen to risk the pain.

All over again.

Yep.

With no expectations, comes no disappointment.

Help my head.

I want my brain to stop working.

On the nonsense it is conjuring.

Before i turn emotion-dead.

Stop me, already, from over-thinking.

Please, help my head.

Tired. Tried.

It's a roller coaster ride.

Please,

find me somewhere to hide.

All sides.

Self-Control.

I must learn not to put you in first place.

Before i get trapped in the maze.

Before i lose myself in the daze.

Before i turn out last in the race.

i indulged in my own solace.

Nice Saying #39

"If you can understand, i allow each day spent between us to end, only because, i hold on to the faith and knowledge that another such day would surely come again."

I hope you feel the same.

More than that.

I am much more than that.

And so i chose to remain nonchalent,
chose to keep away the attack..
as you battle it out on your own,
entertaining yourself with war of words alone,

I am so much more than just that.

you know?

you claim you know me enough.
to be able to tell that i lied, to you, to myself.

if you actually do know me
you would know it was never intended to be
a so-called lie is all you can see
i beg to differ, it was just me being me.

my feelings went roller-coaster
that's why i chose not to share
not coz i want to drift further
but i know those emotions do not last long enough to bear.

when i talked about it i just wanted you to know
it's still you i choose, to go through times of high and low.
yet it was a wrong move that i totally regret
i should just have kept my fucking mouth shut, sealed it should have been kept.

u said u know me, do you really know?
for if you do, you would never think of me being that low.

Beat it.

you say don't waste your time.
i have never asked you to
i didnt need you to act kind.

you claim to others you genuinely really care for me
if you did you would not , in your hidden ways
slowly but surely spoil the friendship between me and she.

yes i can be just accusing without reason.
but isn't that what you always do too?
and you always portray your actions to be out of good intention.

i always give in to you and your whines
i always doted on you coz i thought i should
and i really did care, i guess i was just blind.

it's my life as what you always say
i do not need your approval or nod of head
i do not need to do things your way.

i shut up when you showed me your black face whenever you want to
you can rudely refuse to look me in the eye when we talk..
tell me what you would have done if i did those same things to you.

u really know how to reach one's limit.
for that i salute you.
Forget it.

and so that's what friends are for.

i only know
i dun want to lose you.

i do not reckon our time is due.

i do not want to fight
over your her, or over mine.

i wish for things to be fine.

we have such different views.
i heard your stand, i listened.

when can it be your turn?

leave, or live.

why is it tiring
when it is supposed to be a relief?

i can no longer perceive.

i tried my best to achieve.

i chose to believe.

i cannot breathe.

Nice Saying #38

I may not be your perfect lover, but who is perfect in the world?
At least i'm gonna try perfecting perfection, at least to your conception.

Nice Saying #37

"Believe in your eyes, not your ears. Believe also, in your heart, not your fears."

Believe in your laughter, not your tears.